


Past Present

by Joxie



Series: Past Present [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940s, Bucky Isn’t A Fool, Closeted Characters, Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Peggy Isn’t A Saint, Period-Typical Homophobia, Swearing, steve is disillusioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joxie/pseuds/Joxie
Summary: Bucky isn’t a fool, Peggy isn’t saint and Steve is disillusioned.





	1. Chapter 1

“Barnes” Peggy’s voice was calm and her eyes sharp and calculating.

“Ma’am” Bucky went to walk past her.

“A moment soldier” she turned and he reluctantly followed her into the office closing the door behind them.

Without preamble Peggy began “I know what you are and I know who you’re tainting” she didn’t blush or even look uncomfortable.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” Bucky’s cheeks flushed but he didn’t drop his gaze from her.

“Don’t take me for a fool Barnes” Peggy snapped then continued more calmly “I don’t pretend to understand your inclinations unnatural as they are” Bucky flinched causing her to smirk “what you indulge in is not only against nature but also the law in both our countries.

“What do you want?” Bucky growled.

“Now, now Barnes keep a civil tongue in your head” Peggy warned “think of Steve and all the trouble you could get him into.”

“No one would think Steve capable of it” Bucky stated firmly.

“Really” Peggy licked her bottom lip “pretty Stevie who thinks you hung the moon and polished the stars, who looks at you with more feeling than is normal even for a close beloved friend.”

“What do you want Carter?” Bucky demanded again.

“Him of cause” Peggy smiled brightly.

Bucky was shocked right down to his boot covered toes and she laughed in his face “Not like that you dirty minded bugger.” 

“You’re a bloody bitch, Carter” Bucky said bitterly.

Peggy ignored his reply and just carried on “You can keep on pawing him in private but in public he’s mine. We’re going to be the perfect couple and he’s going to support me in all my endeavours.”

“He won’t do it” Bucky said flatly.

“Then I’ll report you Sergeant Barnes and the first person besides you they’ll look at will be him” she made eye contact “convince him it’s in both your interests.”

“I could always ask for a transfer” Bucky challenged.

“And leave your golden boy alone?” Peggy smiled amused by his weak threat “also it wouldn’t stop me from reporting you and it would still lead back to him.”

Bucky looked pale his chest hardly moving as he breathed “I’ll talk to hm.”

“I knew you’d see sense, make it soon Barnes” the glint in her eyes was unpleasant.

Bucky turned to go then stopped “Carter?”

She raised an eyebrow “Yes.”

“Watch your back” he said blandly.

“Is that a threat Barnes?” Peggy looked unconcerned about her safety.

“Just a friendly bit of advice” the door closed behind him. 

Peggy reached for her bag and removed her cigarettes and lighter. Her hands shook slightly as she lit one and put it to her lips. The smoke burnt her throat, it was a welcome distraction, as she prepared herself to leave the office and carry on.

***

The wall was damp and the alley badly lit, Bucky lent his head back enjoying the weight of Steve’s body holding him against the brickwork. One leg between his own as Steve kissed his neck careful not to leave any marks. 

Gently Bucky pushed him back “Stevie we’ve got to talk.”

Steve’s reply was a deep wet kiss that took Bucky’s breath away “We are Buck” his cloth covered cock rubbed against Bucky’s equally interested one.

“No I mean it Steve” Bucky got out between kisses “C…Carter” the name came out as a groan when Steve’s hand unbuttoned his fly.

“She can’t have you” a warm large hand pulled him free of his trousers “you’re mine.”

A harsh laugh was forced from Bucky “Ah fuck it” he thrust into the hand that tightened around him.

“Going to take me in that pretty mouth Stevie?” Bucky’s hands felt him up, teasing him through the cloth that covered his erection “or would you like to see me on my knees worshipping you the way you deserve?”

“I’m going to suck that pretty cock” Steve dropped to his knees and suited his actions to his words.

“Jesus” Bucky’s head hit the brickwork and his hands went into Steve’s hair. Gently he thrust into Steve’s willing warm mouth, enjoying the way he used his tongue and how his lips closed around him. 

“Stevie, Stevie, fuck” Steve’s hand carefully squeezed and teased his balls causing Bucky to jerk wildly.

Steve released his cock, chuckled breathlessly and looked up at his lover. Lips shining with spit and pre cum the image he presented was sin its self. Bucky pulled him to his feet and kissed him with a desperation that they both could taste.

“Anyone there? Do you need help?” A voice rang out from the shadows and time just for a moment stood still.

Then Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand and they were both running down the alley and around the corner. Back on the street Steve stood in front of Bucky shielding him as he tucked his cock safely back in his trousers.

“That was a little to close” Bucky muttered handing Steve a handkerchief to wipe his mouth.

Shoulders brushing they began the walk back to barracks. The night air was turning chilly which inspired them to move fast “Carter” Bucky said out of nowhere.

“What about her” Steve couldn’t have sounded less interested.

“She knows” Bucky said simply and without heat.

“How” was the only word that Steve managed to force out of his mouth.

Bucky shrugged “Does it matter?”

Steve looked down “Are you sure?”

Bucky chuckled bitterly “The bitch cornered me” he took a breath “and told me to my face that I’m unnatural.”

Steve touched Bucky’s arm and they both stopped walking “She’s wrong Buck love is the most natural thing in the world.”

“It’s not that simple and you know it Steve” Bucky replied but it wasn’t a contradiction.

There was a brief silence then Steve asked “What is she going to do?”

“Nothing if we play ball” Bucky sighed “she seems to think having you as arm candy will benefit her both personally and career wise.”

“Arm candy?” Steve repeated bemusedly “I’ve been called a lot of things.”

“And you’ll be called a lot worse if she follows through on her threat” Bucky retorted. 

“So if I don’t agreed to be her pretend boyfriend she’ll report me” Steve summarized.

“No she’ll report me” Bucky said quietly.

That knocked the breath out of Steve “I would never have thought it of Peggy” he said disillusionment in his tone.

“And at first everyone thought Hitler was a swell guy” Bucky said sarcastically.

“She knew the right button to press I’ll give her that” Steve said “knew I wouldn’t risk you.”

“You’re going to do what she wants without putting up a fight” Bucky looked surprised.

“What else can I do” Steve was resigned “there’s no fighting this and winning” they both knew he was right on that score “also I’m not putting your Ma and sisters through…” His words came to a halt.

“Ma loves you Steve” Bucky said quietly.

“All the more reason for not putting her through the disgrace and gossip” Steve returned.

Bucky didn’t have a reply for that and they began walking again “Do you think the Howlies know?” Steve asked.

“I’ve no idea” Bucky replied “and I’m not going to ask.”

“Don’t ask don’t tell” Steve muttered darkly “the story of our lives.”

“I’d be willing to transfer” Bucky told him “but as she helpfully pointed out, it wouldn’t stop her reporting me.”

“No, don’t do that” Steve‘s tone was panicked.

“I’m not” Bucky pointed out “but the plain fact is we’ve been caught and now all we can do is dance to her tune.”

The rest of the walk back to barracks was completed in silence. Neither of them wanted to spend the rest of the night alone but had no choice. So Steve reluctantly headed for the officer’s quarters while Bucky joined the rest of the Howlies in the makeshift tent city in the grounds.

***

Steve felt uncomfortable the pub was to warm and crowded for his liking. Over to one side a group of men were playing darts while on the other someone was playing the piano. Bucky nudged him gesturing to the doorway where Peggy stood looking around.

Her eyes met his and her lips curved into a practised smile, then she headed towards him purposefully “Sorry I’m late darling” she kissed his cheek and it took everything in Steve to not flinch.

He smiled back his cheeks flushing red and took her hand and kissed it. From a distance his blush could be mistaken for bashfulness but the three of them knew that it was anger not shyness that fuelled his reaction.

Peggy took her hand back and turned to the barman ordering herself a drink. Bucky touched Steve’s shoulder and went to join the rest of the Howlies at their table. For all the noise in the bar it was quiet between Steve and Peggy, she sipped her drink and he looked anywhere but at her.

“You’re not even trying Stevie” Peggy said under her breath but he still heard her clearly.

Steve gazed at her with what looked like affection “Let’s be clear on one point sweetheart we are not friends, I’m only here because of your threats” while he spoke there was a genial look on his face.

“Give that man an Oscar, where are those film critics now” Peggy smiled at him teeth glinting.

Steve didn’t appreciate being reminded of the films he’d been pressured into making for the department of propaganda, but didn’t comment on it. Instead he placed a hand on Peggy's waist and leaned in towards her, she looked into his eyes and wished she hadn’t.

“I’m not afraid of you” she hissed.

“There’s still time” Steve promised with a pleasant smile before offering to walk her home.


	2. Chapter 2

The bombed out pub was a mess but Steve didn’t gave a damn about his surroundings. The bottle he clutched in his hand was half full and the look in his eyes contained a desperate wildness.

He was waiting, he knew Peggy would find him and she didn’t disappoint him. Taking her own sweet time she sat down in the chair opposite his own. There wasn’t a flicker of grief on her face but strangely there was understanding in her eyes.

Steve put the bottle to his lips and took a considering sip before he spoke “I can’t get drunk, did you know that?” He asked a depressed look on his face.

Peggy sat back slightly and pursed her lips “It wasn’t your fault” her tone wasn’t as brutal as it could have been.

“You didn’t read the report then” Steve if anything looked even more depressed then before.

“I’ve read it” Peggy contradicted him.

“Then you know that’s not true” Steve let the bottle drop to the floor and it landed with a crash, glass and alcohol going everywhere.

Peggy made a noise of irritation “Did you trust Barnes? I assume you respected him, even I know he wouldn’t blame you for his death, so neither should you.”

Steve said coldly “A bitch to the very core.”

“Maybe so but this bitch protected you” Peggy replied without pause.

“Very altruistic of you” scorn dripped from each word as Steve spoke “it had nothing to do with your career” he added his eyebrow rising.

Peggy chose to take his words at face value “Don’t be silly Steve it had everything to do with it and for that to continue you have to get off your arse and live.”

“That’s something you have no control over” Steve took some pleasure in the words.

“You might think that but I can still ruin Barnes and his reputation. Rumours, gossip, you wouldn’t want an anonymous letter to reach his family, would you?” Peggy told him.

Steve jerked to his feet so quickly that the table almost tumbled over, Peggy jumped back startled by his sudden movement “Don’t be stupid Steve” She warned.

Calming himself with notable effort Steve just said “I’m going after Schmidt, I’m going to burn Hydra down.”

Peggy smiled complacently at him “You won’t be alone” she promised.

Steve laughed unpleasantly and said “Jesus you’re delusional.”

***

The communication room only held three people each looked worried though trying to hide it. Colonel Phillips looked over to the other two, Carter was calm enough and the radio operator seemed to be scribbling in a notebook. All three of them startled when the radio came to life.

Steve’s voice broke the silence “Schmidt is dead.”

Peggy got there first and demanded “The plane?”

“Not good, this thing is heading straight for New York” Steve told her “I’ve got to put her in the water.”

Panic in her voice Peggy replied “We have time…”

Steve cut her off “Peggy this is my choice.”

“I’m sorry…” quite what she was apologising for she wasn’t sure.

There was a short silence “I’m not, don’t worry Peg you’ll find another dancing partner.”

“He’ll not be you” Peggy forced the words out.

“He’ll be a natural dancer" Steve’s words were flat.

“Steve? Steve?” Silence was the only answer she received.

Peggy then cried for herself and what she had become. Curling into Colonel Phillips arms when he touched her shoulder. 

***

He blinked his eyes into focus, the stark white room stirred no recognition or memories. Steve’s unease began to grow, in the background there was the sound of a radio and as he listened he realized he recognised the game.

Steve sat up only briefly pausing before getting to his feet. A door he hadn’t even noticed yet opened and into the room came a young woman. Like the room there was something off about her. 

“Where am I?” He asked eyes never leaving her.

She smiled “In a recovery room in New York, Captain Rogers.”

“Try again sweetheart” he nodded towards the radio “I was at that game.”

Before she had time to reply Steve was through what turned out to be a false wall and running. As irony would have it he ran straight into the arms of Nick Fury and he hadn’t stopped moving since.

Space creatures, Hydra and the down fall of Shield later and he was still restlessly moving. But at least now he had direction, something to aim for and the target was Bucky, Winter Soldier or not.

In that graveyard Nat had handed him ammunition and fuel in the form of an old stained file. A thread he wouldn’t hesitate to pull and the energy to do whatever it would take to bring Bucky back to him.

***

Later that same day his mobile rang “You should have told me” Tony’s voice demanded in an entitled manner.

Steve didn’t pause to think “How? When you wouldn’t take my calls? Or maybe when you were out carousing? Anyway the Winter Soldier is all over the news.”

“Fuck the Winter Soldier I’m talking about Peggy” Tony snapped.

“What about Peggy?” Steve asked a little more cautiously.

“Yesterday I was going through dear old Dad’s stored boxes. When I came across an old yellow envelope addressed to him in Peggy’s handwriting” Tony paused as if he expected Steve to speak.

But Steve only said fatalistically “And?”

“The bastard hadn’t even opened it” Tony snarled.

“You did” Steve said.

“Fuck yes” Tony burst out “how could she do that to you?”

Steve sighed “A question I’ve asked myself and I’ve yet to come up with a decent answer.”

“She wrote that you both were unnatural perverts and that both of you had threatened her” Tony stopped to take a breath.

“We didn’t” Steve pushed what little guilt he felt away “it was actually the other way round.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Tony said tiredly “she was warning Dad in case anything happened to her and pointing the finger directly at you.”

“Pardon me if I’m not surprised Tony” Steve said “but I never thought she was a stupid woman just a wicked one.”

“Did you lead her on?” Tony asked bluntly.

“I’m the faithful type so no” Steve replied “at least not intentionally” he added trying to be fair for Tony’s sake.

“Are you going to expose her” Tony asked in a tone that held apprehension.

“What would be the point” Steve sighed “she’s dying and frankly Peggy’s not that important now.”

“I wouldn’t blame you” Tony replied something like relief in his voice “it can’t have been easy on either of you.”

“It wasn’t” Steve thought for a moment “and I’m never going to forgive her.”

“Neither would I” Tony agreed.

“The Winter Soldier” with no subtlety Steve changed the topic.

“Yeah?” Tony waited.

“He’s Bucky” Steve said and in the silence that followed you could have heard a pin drop.

“The fuck he is” Tony finally replied.

“I don’t need you to believe me” Steve said “I know what I saw and it was Bucky.”

It was Tony’s turn to sigh “I’ll start with facial recognition software and go on from there.”

“Thanks Tony” Steve’s tone was relieved.

“Don’t thank me yet he’ll be a bitch to find even with my genius and reach” the line went dead but there was a smile on Steve’s face, it felt good that Tony was going to help even if he didn’t really believe him.


	3. Chapter 3

In the end Tony wasn’t really needed because just over a month later. Steve returned to his apartment to find Bucky waiting for him. He looked tidy his long hair tied back and his face clean shaven.

“I’m not him” the voice was husky.

Steve bit his lip “Doesn’t matter.”

“But I want to be” he looked lost “I want to be your Bucky.” 

“You are my Bucky the rest we can deal with as it comes” Steve took a step forward “don’t leave me that’s all I ask.”

Bucky nodded and looked around “It’s a step up from the barracks.”

Steve blinked away his tears “You remember?”

“Yes, you” he scratched his eyebrow “more than I like of Hydra, but not everything.”

“Hydra?” Steve asked.

“You don’t want to know Steve, believe me” Bucky replied flatly.

Steve thought about the slim stained file hidden in his sock draw “When you’re ready to talk I’ll listen.”

“I’m not him” Bucky repeated “my our emotions feel burnt out, but you Steve you stir them to life.”

Steve reached out and Bucky fell into his arms and clung as if he would never let go. Steve didn’t know how long they stood like that, he only knew he was going to be whatever Bucky needed him to be.

When Bucky pulled out of his arms Steve released him gently “You must be hungry I have soup” Steve paused “it’s only tinned but…”

“It’ll be fine” Bucky assured him.

“Good, good I have crusty bread as well” Bucky followed Steve into the kitchen.

***

The next morning the phone rang bright and early, Steve picked it up within a couple of rings “The last one to know again” Tony whined.

“He only turned up last night” Steve replied.

“When do I get to meet him, Bucky Winter” he paused “Winter Bucky? That’s the one.”

“Not yet and on his terms” Steve told him patiently.

“How’s the arm? How’s the man?” Tony rolled on.

“Nice to see you’ve got your priorities right” Steve said dryly “better than I hoped.”

“Are we on speaker phone?” Tony asked brightly.

Steve looked at Bucky who nodded permission “We are now.”

“Hi Buckaroo” Tony said without pause “get the blonde bombshell to bring you to my tower, we’ve got cookies and everything.”

“I’m not that cheap Stark” Bucky replied with some humour.

“It’s Tony, we’re going to be great friends” he told him “isn’t that right Steve?”

“He encroaches like ivy” was Steve’s reply. 

“Friendly helpful ivy” Tony put in “I’m already fixing you up with papers and a passport.”

“Why?” Bucky was genuinely puzzled.

There was a brittle silence “Because I can” and then more seriously “Howard failed you both I won’t, wow that got heavy quickly.”

“You don’t say” Steve replied “thanks Tony its appreciated.”

“Don’t mention it really don’t” Tony said quickly “just come visit those cookies won’t eat themselves.”

The call ended “Is he for real?” Bucky asked Steve.

“Yes, Tony is” Steve smiled “special.”

“That’s one way to describe him” Bucky agreed “do you trust him?”

Without even thinking about it Steve replied “Yes.”

“How about the rest of the Avengers?” Bucky went on to ask.

“There good people Buck not the Howlies but how could they be?” Steve bit his lip “They’ve earned my trust.”

Bucky looked sad “Trust is hard, I trust you and only you.”

Tears came to Steve’s eyes “Baby steps Buck.”

Bucky huffed a laugh “I’m not even crawling.”

“It only takes time and perseverance” there was a light in Steve’s eyes “and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Amused Bucky replied “You make it all sound so easy.”

“Two heads are better than one and I’m going to need your help as well” Steve told him.

“You’re doing fine” Bucky replied with confidence.

“Not really” Steve frowned “it’s been difficult at times, I’ve felt so out of place and time” he looked ashamed of himself.

“We’re not alone now” Bucky smiled tiredly.

“No we’re not and it’s going to get better for both of us” Steve replied strongly.

***

“It would be easy you know” Bucky didn’t meet Steve’s eyes and continued to gaze down at Peggy “there are no camera’s in here and only a call button which can be put out of her reach.”

He lifted the button from her loose grip and crushed it in his metal hand “It’s tempting so very tempting” he smiled at last looking at Steve “I thought you might have beaten me to it.”

“Too easy, to quick, to kind” Steve joined him by the bed “her mind’s steady decline seemed a better justice that loss of control must terrify her.”

“Think she knew about me?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know I hope not but we’re talking about Peggy” Steve shrugged “pragmatic and cold.”

“Hydra?” Bucky’s eyes were bright with interest.

“No, she didn’t sink that low” Steve replied with certainty.

“Barnes” the voice was weak and unsure.

“He’s dead Peggy” Steve told her.

“I see him” her eyes followed Bucky as a slow grin spread over his face and he lifted a metal hand to wave at her.

“Bucky fell he’s dead you’re imagining things” Steve retorted.

“His hand” Peggy’s voice shook.

“Is with the rest of him and not here” a small smile played on Steve’s lips.

“Steve, please” she looked at him pleadingly.

“Are you even sure I’m here Peg?” Steve asked “shouldn’t I still be frozen and dead with a picture of you in my compass.”

“Don’t” her hands came up to cover her face as tears began to flow.

Steve merely looked curious “Contact the catholic church it’s a miracle.”

“Please Steve he is here” Peggy begged.

“Bucky is dead, he fell from a train” bitterness entered his voice “and you convinced Colonel Phillips there was no need to retrieve his body.”

“We didn’t have the resources” Peggy tried to defend herself.

“The Howlies were willing and so was I” Steve snarled.

Peggy’s eyes were fixed on Bucky who was glaring at her “He was dead, is dead” her eyes darted to Steve and then back to Bucky.

“That’s right so he can’t be here can he?” Steve’s smile wasn’t pretty.

“I’m going to sleep” Peggy said softly her cheeks salty and wet.

“You do that Peg” Steve leant close “I’ll visit you again soon.”

“Don’t” her voice shook.

“It’s no trouble I’ve always got time for my best girl” Steve walked to the door and Bucky followed him without looking back.

“That wasn’t nice “Bucky said though he didn’t seem that concerned.

“Neither is she” Steve replied “age excuses nothing.”

“Does that apply to me?” Bucky asked.

“The situations are completely different” Steve said passionately “no one forced her to do anything. You were broke down and rebuilt in Hydras image, against your will and against your morals, she was just out for herself.”

Bucky thought for a moment and then said “Part of the blame still rests with me and always will. I didn’t have the strength to defy them long term and that’s a fact you can’t deny.” 

“Another fact is that you survived everything that they did to you and you are strong Buck, stronger than me, stronger than most” Steve replied with conviction.

“Your faith in me” Bucky shook his head “you’re one hell of a motivational speaker.”

“I’m right about this” Steve said.

“Maybe I don’t know” Bucky frowned “let’s get out of here.”


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky had settled into Steve’s apartment with an ease that surprised the other man. Still he wasn’t going to question it, Steve was just happy and content to have Bucky back by his side again.

What didn’t surprise him was the fact that Bucky suffered nightmares practically every night though he refused to talk about them or even knowledge them at times. Steve did his best to help whether it was holding Bucky close or spending the night talking and playing cards.

It didn’t take them long to settle into a casual routine, the structure allowing them to relax and release a little of their stress. 

It was early one morning after getting back from his run that Steve asked “Have you got any plans? Anything that you want to do now that you can?”

Bucky who had been reading put his book down “Plans are for other people and I’m not very good at wanting things” he replied.

“It takes practice” Steve smiled.

“What do you want?” Bucky asked in turn.

Steve shrugged his shoulders “Apart from you I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Then why would you think I have?” Bucky chuckled darkly “I find it difficult enough deciding what socks to wear, never mind anything else.”

“Do you want to hunt down what’s left of Hydra?” Steve asked quietly.

Bucky wouldn’t meet his eyes “I should want to” he finally rasped out.

“But do you want to?” Steve pushed.

“No, no I don’t” the words were torn from Bucky “I want to stay the fuck away from them and there chair.”

“Then we won’t” Steve looked relieved when Bucky met his eyes again.

“You really think we can walk away and they’ll let us?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t want you anywhere near that chair Buck” Steve revealed “Nat gave me your file.”

Bucky went pale and looked away from him again “She shouldn’t have” he muttered.

“I’m glad she did “Steve said stubbornly “the reason they kept you in cryo was to keep your trigger words stable.”

Bucky turned away from Steve “I don’t want to hear this” growled.

Steve grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving the room “Listen” he hissed “when you’re out of cryo for more than a month they fade to nothing, there useless and the only way to keep them intact is regular use of the chair.”

Bucky relaxed in Steve’s grip “And even I couldn’t withstand monthly visits to the chair.”

“A couple of years and your brain would be damaged beyond repair, even for us” Steve confirmed.

“They’re gone” Bucky whispered.

“They’re gone you’re free of them” Steve tugged Bucky around to face him.

“So what do you want Buck?” Steve smiled.

“You and peace” Bucky replied then leant forward to brush his lips against Steve’s in a gentle kiss.

***

Tony’s grin was so wide it was almost shark like “Bucko! What an arm I’m assuming you want me to maintain it.”

“You’re not touching what you can’t afford” Bucky replied.

“I can afford everything and I’m the best at everything that matters” Tony told him without irony.

Bucky give him the finger but looked amused “Is that so?”

“Ask Steve he’ll tell you what a wonder I am” Tony said.

“Sometimes he does make me wonder” Steve agreed.

“Steve” Tony’s voice held outrage.

“You promised me cookies” Bucky smiled.

“Cookies coming up” Tony lead the way to the kitchen “what’s your fancy Chocolate, Lemon Shortbread, Ginger? We’ve got everything you can imagine isn’t that right Jarvis?”

“Yes sir you’re a regular Willy Wonka” a voice replied.

Bucky didn’t flinch but a knife appeared in his hand like magic and he looked around suspiciously.

“That’s the towers AI system he’s even more impressive than Tony” Steve said quickly.

“I should be insulted but Jarvis is magnificent and it’s all down to me” Tony beamed happily. 

The knife disappeared and Tony lead them into a large comfortable kitchen complete with table and chairs.

“Sit, sit” he enthused while collecting cookie jars and pouring coffees.

Tony sat opposite them and grinned “Tuck in.”

Steve reached for a jar and removed the lid, the scent of lemon assaulted his nostrils “Lemon Butter Shortbread” he sighed.

Tasting one he moaned “Genius.”

This had Bucky opening the jar nearest to him and taking a bite from a Chocolate Brazil Nut Cookie. Making a noise of approval he demolished the rest of it.

Tony watched wide eyed as they worked their way through four jars and multiple cups of coffee “I’ve created a monster, cookie monsters” he was smiling again.

“These are miracles in the mouth Tony” Steve praised.

“Very pleasant” Bucky concurred.

“Knew you’d like them” Tony preened happily.

Bucky leant back and eyed Tony “You want to examine the arm” it was a statement and not a question.

“Yes, it’s a beauty” Tony replied.

“Steve trusts you and I trust him” he stood up and flexed said arm and the plates rippled “You can scan it and maybe when we know each other better I’ll let you inside it.”

“That sounds wonderfully dirty” Tony responded.

After Tony got his scans they left the tower with a large tin of cookies and an open invitation to visit anytime. They walked for a while each lost in thought, it was comfortable and natural for them.

“That didn’t go too badly” Bucky commented at last.

“Tony’s okay he’s just a little over powering at times” Steve replied “a bit of a mother hen to though he wouldn’t admit it.”

“Never thought Howard would ever be a father” Bucky said thoughtfully.

“If you listen to Tony he shouldn’t have been” Steve said “his father doesn’t compare to the Howard we knew.”

“Do you know why?” Bucky asked.

“If you believe Tony it’s because of me” Steve replied.

“The hell it is” Bucky exclaimed.

“Apparently Howard became obsessed with finding me and had no time for his son or his wife for that matter” Steve said impassively.

“The futurist living in the past” Bucky commented.

“It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad” Steve agreed.

***

Tony paused gaze fixed on the circuit board he was fiddling with “Jarvis I have an idea.”

“Really sir” Jarvis queried.

“Steve and his beau need purpose and direction something to improve their public image” he dropped the circuit board on the worktop “I think they should set up a foundation.”

“Sergeant Barnes is a wanted man, sir” Jarvis pointed out.

“He’s a pow probably the most tortured one ever and my lawyers are ready for when the government come calling” Tony announced to the empty room.

When Jarvis didn’t comment Tony continued “I’ll make a large donation as a base for it and they can award grants to vets, their widows and children, that should appeal to Steve at least.”

“Very philanthropic, sir” Jarvis said.

“Bet your ass I am” Tony looked pleased with himself.

“If I had one I would sir” Jarvis replied dryly.

***

Painfully Peggy turned onto her side, her bones felt to close to her skin and she was always cold even when the sunshine came through her lone window. Fragments of memory accosted her, disjointed and unconnected to each other. Try as she might she couldn’t make them go away and let her rest. Strangers walked through her waking dreams, taunting her and making each moment fearful and draining.

Peggy blinked someone was leaning over her, blonde hair and blue eyes. She screamed feeble hands trying to push the person away. Blindly she struck out tears rolling down her distressed face.

“It’s Sharon Aunt Peggy” there was desperation in the voice.

“You’re dead, you’re dead” Peggy’s reply was weak “go away” she begged.


	5. Chapter 5

“Eventually we’re going to have to do something about my legal problems” Bucky said out of the blue.

“Tony’s dealing with that” Steve replied giving him all his attention.

“A lot of people are going to think I should be in jail or even be given the death penalty” Bucky continued.

“I won’t allow that to happen” Steve promised eyes bright with passion.

“How do you plan to do that” Bucky asked.

“I’ll take you and run” Steve said as if it were the most normal thing.

“Well that hasn’t changed you’re still as possessive as hell” Bucky grinned.

“Always will be where you’re concerned” Steve agreed.

The grin dropped from Bucky’s face “Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything Buck you know that” Steve frowned.

“Does this put you off” Bucky held up his metal hand.

“Hell no” the words burst out of Steve’s mouth.

“Then why haven’t you tried to fuck me?” Bucky asked.

Steve’s cheeks flushed red “I was waiting for you to make the first move.”

“What in the hell for?” Bucky demanded.

“It’s been a long time and…” Steve muttered.

“Not really, not for us you’ve slept most of the time and I was only intermittently awake” Bucky interrupted “we’re only in our twenties whatever century we’re in.”

“I want you so fucking much” Steve made eye contact.

“What’s stopping you” Bucky challenged.

“Nothing at all” Steve replied and pulled Bucky into his arms and kissed him deeply. Dominating Bucky’s mouth, just taking not asking for permission and without fear of rejection.

It seemed to take only seconds for Steve to be aching and hard. Bucky wasn’t that far behind he pushed Steve onto their sofa straddling his lap and hands going into his hair. Tugging Steve’s head back his mouth settled onto the vulnerable neck and he bit down sucking hungrily. Steve groaned loudly under Bucky passionate attack.

Bucky sat back eyes fixed on the mark he had made “Couldn’t do that before couldn’t leave marks on their golden boy.”

“Brand your fucking name on me, I don’t give a damn” Steve was kissing him again.

“God” Bucky gasped.

“Not even an angel” Steve replied unfastening Bucky’s pants and fisting his cock.

Bucky whimpered clutching at Steve’s shoulders “Fuck, fuck, fuck” he chanted in time with Steve’s rhythm.

“Come on, let go” Steve demanded “I’m here for you.”

Bucky groaned his grip on Steve’s shoulders tightening as he obeyed, cum splattering all over Steve’s tee shirt while his breath quickened. Steve gazed at Bucky not wanting to miss one moment of the emotion on his face.

“So fucking beautiful” Steve whispered “and mine.”

“Possessive bastard” Bucky fondly whispered back.

Steve released Bucky’s cock, his fingers wet with cum and he carefully licked them clean. All the while Bucky watched and waited, Steve leant forward and took his mouth again. The kiss was gentle and sweet and Bucky loved it. 

Bucky left Steve’s lap and with a playful smile stripped off his tee shirt and pants. He spread Steve’s legs and knelt between them, clever nimble fingers released Steve’s cock from his pants.

“Gorgeous” Bucky praised before taking it in his mouth.

Steve yelped as the warm wetness teased him “Always so good at this” he murmured trying not to thrust.

Bucky playfully nipped the tip of his cock which made Steve whimper “Pay attention” he ordered.

“Sir, yes sir” Steve breathed not at all repentant.

“I love the way you salute” Bucky lowered his head again and Steve groaned.

Bucky took his time letting Steve’s frustration build giving him just enough stimulation to keep him on edge but not enough to take him over it. He gasped when suddenly Steve jerked to his feet, cock slick with spit but no longer in his mouth. Steve pushed his pants down to mid-thigh all the while looking at Bucky’s lips that were covered in pre cum and sinful as hell.

A large powerful hand went into Bucky’s hair and pulled his head back “You’re sure? Steve rasped out.

“Do it” was Bucky’s only response.

The heavy weight of Steve’s cock was back in his mouth. Filling and dominating, Bucky relaxed his throat, eyes closing he breathed through his nose. As Steve pushed himself slowly and carefully in and down his throat until his balls came to rest on Bucky’s chin warn and full.

Steve paused to concentrate on his control “That’s it just relax your doing so well, so good for me Buck.”

Bucky blinked as a tear ran down the side of his face, Steve wiped it away with his thumb and made a soothing noise “Just feel my presence, you’ve got me, I’m with you all the way” he spoke the words softly.

Then he pulled back smoothly “Concentrate on me” and thrust back in quickly “I’m going to fuck the breath out of you” both of his hands grasped Bucky’s head as he set up a hard powerful pace.

Bucky clung on as best he could not only allowing but wanting Steve to use him. The slap of Steve’s balls and the thickness of his cock simply overwhelmed him. Bucky was going to come again just from this alone, just from Steve in and around him taking everything away. Reaching, thrusting so deeply, controlling his breath, his life and loving him.

Bucky didn’t remember passing out he only knew he was clean, comfortable and resting in Steve’s arms “Over achieving as always” he murmured huskily against his chest.

Steve chuckled “What can I say you inspire me like no other.”

***

“Shouldn’t you be suicidal?” Tony’s voice held no malice just curiosity.

“Why would that be?” Bucky wasn’t even insulted by the inference. 

“Hydra used you to kill, torture and destroy any people that got in there way” Tony waved a screw driver to emphasize his words “you seem to remember a lot of it, doesn’t it lay heavy on your conscience?”

“There is very little emotion attached to any of my memories, they happened there is nothing I can do about it now” Bucky replied.

“That’s cold” Tony responded without thinking.

“I’d rather be truthful then lie for other people’s comfort” Bucky said bluntly “I am unconnected to my memories and the emotions I have are all attached to Steve.”

“Who is a good man” Tony said.

“Yes he is” Bucky smiled “and you wouldn’t want me to turn to villainy would you?”

Tony set the screw driver down and looked as if he were getting ready to ask something important and serious. But Bucky stopped him by speaking first.

“Don’t ask me Tony you won’t like the answer” he warned not unkindly.

“I already know” Tony didn’t look at him “it would have only been a confirmation.”

“I can apologise if you like” Bucky offered.

“Don’t it changes nothing” Tony looked at him thoughtfully “we’re all victims in this.”

“Even me?” Bucky questioned.

“Even you” Tony sighed “Jesus I need a drink.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Steve you’re under employed and listless” Tony grinned “and I’ve got a cure for that! I’ve got just the job for you and Bucky boy.”

Patiently Steve replied “Bucky needs to keep a low profile he’s a wanted man.”

“And not just by you” Tony was still grinning “my lawyers are finished he’ll be a hero.”

“He’s already a hero” Steve stated firmly.

“Yeah but everyone else will know it as well” Tony replied.

“What makes you think we want to work for you?” Steve asked half-jokingly.

“Work with not for there’s a difference Steve” Tony proclaimed “the Rogers Stark Foundation For Veteran Welfare” he grinned “sounds good doesn’t it?”

The light of interest entered Steve’s eyes “It does” he admitted.

“Knew you’d agree with me” Tony pulled up some screens “I’ve already registered it in both our names and I’ve cleared a whole floor of the tower for its premises all I need now is your okay, what do you say Steve?”

“I don’t know” Steve paused “I don’t have any experience of running a business never mind a foundation.”

“You have all the experience you need you’re a soldier and vet, people can be hired to run the day to day concerns. Your job is ideas, publicity and stuff.”

Steve still looked undecided “You’d be taking a big risk on us.”

Tony shook his head “I’m really not” the screens disappeared “vets and their families need Steve Rogers” he enthused “Captain America can strengthen their voices.”

“I take it you’ve asked them” Steve replied trying not to smile.

Tony ignored him “You and the Buckster could award grants, speak at schools, advocate for vets rights, retraining of the disabled.”

“Okay, okay you’ve made your point” Steve conceded.

“So you’ll do it?” Tony asked.

“I’ll speak to Bucky” Steve smiled “it’s a good idea Tony.”

“With me and the both of you we can make a difference you’ll see” Tony was grinning again.

***

“What do you think Buck?” Steve asked eyes bright.

“You want to do this?” Steve nodded “okay” Bucky quickly added “just don’t put me behind a desk.”

“Never though there will be meetings we’ll have to attend I suspect” Steve told him.

“And I can’t do anything overt with the foundation until my situation is sorted out” Bucky said.

“Agreed” Steve rubbed his noise “Tony’s chomping on the bit and ready to go it’s surprising really.”

“Ex merchant of death like the rest of us he’s trying to make up for his past errors” Bucky commented.

Steve nodded again “Just like death and taxes conflict will always be with us, there’ll always be a need for weapons.”

“But not from Tony?” Bucky said.

“He’s turned himself around and is still making money the man is talented” Steve smiled “don’t tell him I said that.”

“Your secret crush is safe with me” Bucky smirked, Steve flicked his ear and he grumbled “my ears are sensitive jerk.”

Steve’s mouth teased the abused lobe sucking it gently, his tongue occasionally lapping it with slow swipes.

“That tickles” Bucky’s voice faded into a groan.

Undeterred Steve kissed across Bucky’s cheek and locked onto his mouth. Groaning himself when Bucky took over, his tongue delving deep and his hands pulling Steve close, almost crushing the together.

After long moments he ended the kiss and ordered “Turn around” Steve blindly obeyed “grip the back of the armchair” again he complied.

Bucky wrapped his arms around him and dropped a kiss on the back of his neck. His hand gently squeezed Steve’s cock through the denim of his jeans “Beautiful” he whispered “always so fucking beautiful.”

Steve’s underwear and jeans were dragged down to mid-thigh forcing a whimper from him “Jesus Buck do something.”

He grunted As Bucky’s wonderfully naked cock rubbed slowly between his ass cheeks “You were saying?” Bucky taunted lightly.

Another groan came from Steve when a hand firmly grasped his cock. Bucky let out a breathless laugh and pushed his erection steadily between Steve’s firm thighs, his pre cum easing the way.

“Oh” Steve gasped clamping his thighs together so that Bucky would get more friction.

Loving the way Bucky’s cock rubbed against his balls sending sparks of desire and lust through him. Steve pushed back into each thrust, his own cock dripping pre cum soaking Bucky’s hand which made each squeeze and pull all the more thrilling.

Bucky moaned speeding up his rhythm causing Steve to grunt as the friction against his balls took him over the edge and into pleasure so consuming that it made him collapse against the armchair. Bucky rode him to his own completion, cum covering Steve balls and inner thighs. Both slumped against the chair breathing hard but happy.

***

Before Steve and Bucky could enter the room a nurse stopped them “Captain Rogers I’m afraid we’ve had to restrain Ms Carter.” 

“And why is that?” A look of concern was on Steve’s face.

“She attacked an orderly and a nurse last week so we had no choice” there was sadness in the nurse’s voice.

“I was warned that her condition would deteriorate but violence?” He questioned.

“Alzheimer’s is a cruel condition Captain Rogers and Ms Carter is entering the final stages. So she may suffer from delusions, violent out bursts and that’s just the beginning” the nurse informed him in calm tone.

“I can still visit her?” A touch of worry entered Steve’s voice.

“Yes of course” the nurse smiled at them “she will still have better days than others and I’m sure she will enjoy your visits.”

Steve returned her smile and as she left them they entered Peggy’s room.

“Your acting skills have improved” Bucky said conversationally.

“Well they couldn’t get any worse” Steve replied dryly.

Their attention went to Peggy lying silent and still, wrists cuffed to the heavy metal rails at both sides of her bed. She appeared to be sleeping, breathing slow and deep without a care in the world.

Steve leaned over her unmoving form “Told you I’d be back sweetheart.”

Peggy’s eyes flickered open and widened on recognising her visitors “Ghost” she hissed “you can’t hurt me.”

“That’s what you think” Bucky smirked down at her.

“Demon” she snapped at him, eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.

“You used to be such a pretty box of poison but look at you now chained like you deserve to be and betrayed by your own body” Bucky said eyes hard on hers.

“Be gone demon my lord protects me” Peggy was hissing again.

Steve’s laughter rang out shattering the stillness of the room “I doubt that you’re part of our club a sinner red in tooth and claw” Steve’s lips twitched “you’ll be lucky if you end up in purgatory.”

“Still nearer to god than you’ll ever be” Peggy taunted. 

“Keep your god I’ll take the perfect peace of non-existence” Steve replied not at all put out.

“So Peg I hear you’ve been a naughty girl” Bucky queried as if they were having afternoon tea.

“Your minions didn’t fool me” Peggy’s voice was hoarse.

“I’ll do better next time I don’t like disappointing Steve’s best girl” Bucky wasn’t quick enough to dodge the stream of spit Peggy aimed at him.

“Fuck it” he exclaimed using a linen hanky to wipe his face clean “that’s a filthy habit.”

“Very unladylike” Steve agreed “not that you were ever one to begin with.”

“You know nothing about me” Peggy moved restlessly.

“Shield gave me your file you’ve been busy and not especially moral over the years. The people you helped to destroy just because there political beliefs differed from the powers that be” Steve frowned.

“I did my duty” Peggy replied righteously. 

“When you lie down with pigs you get dirty” Steve told her.

“You would know” she smiled.

“I’ve never claimed to be a saint but I’ve always believed in live and let live, Peggy” Steve replied coldly.

“Communist” she accused.

“Socialist” Steve corrected.

“There’s no difference” she snapped.

“There is” Steve replied calmly “but I’m not here to talk politics.”

“Why are you haunting me with your pet demon” her eyes closed briefly.

“Because I want to, because you deserve it and because I can” Steve smiled.

“I’ve asked for a priest” Peggy said tiredly.

“Last rites?” Bucky smirked.

“To send you back to hell where you belong” Peggy’s eyes closed again.

“And you plan to meet us there?” Steve said innocently.

“God only knows” she replied and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

“A Presidential Pardon?” Steve asked “Don’t you have to be already convicted to get one of those?”

“Technically” Tony conceded.

“Technically” Steve repeated sardonically.

“For a pennyworth of tar the ship went down” Bucky muttered.

“Look the Pres has swung it Bucky’s been offered one don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” Tony said.

“How Tony?” Steve persisted.

Tony winced “In his absence the Winter Soldier was put on trial for the assassination of Kennedy and various other murders and was found guilty.”

“Only fair I suppose” Bucky commented “that grassy knoll was fucking uncomfortable” Tony and Steve gave him a look which he ignored.

“I’ve read up about the Kennedy assassination and there’s no mention of the Winter Soldier being involved” Steve said.

“The trial was held in camera very much hush hush” Tony told him “they didn’t have a name just a title and back then there were still people that didn’t believe the Winter Soldier really existed.”

“So they’re going to amend the documentation and Bucky gets pardoned” Steve guessed.

“Put simply but yes” Tony confirmed “it’ll all be done very quietly and without fanfare, since the general public still don’t know Bucky was the Winter Soldier and we want to keep it that way.”

“You really think that’s possible?” Steve asked.

“The records and documentation are all going to be sealed for the next hundred years, so there’s a good chance” Tony replied.

“So how are you explaining me away?” Bucky enquired.

“By sticking as close to the truth as we can” Tony rolled on “you fell from the train, Hydra nabbed you and they replaced your arm before putting you into cold storage and forgetting all about you.”

“Hiding the truth in plain sight like Superman” Bucky concluded.

“That’s the idea” Tony agreed “you’ll still have a small band of conspiracy nuts like Steve has but the majority won’t take them seriously.”

“And if by chance the truth comes out” Steve asked.

“Bucky will still have his pardon and nobody can take it away from him” Tony replied.

“Thanks Tony” Bucky seemed lost for further words.

Tony actually blushed “Least I could do” he muttered.

Steve was looking thoughtful “Bucky’s re-appearance will have to be managed.”

“We would have more control that way” Tony replied happy to change the direction of the conversation.

Steve nodded “Right, we could announce the foundation and Bucky at the same time.”

“He’d totally over shadow the foundation launch if we did that” Tony said seriously.

“So we announce me first and use that as inspiration to launch the foundation” Bucky said.

“That would work” Tony smiled “Cap leading the charge inspired by the return of his significant other” at their expressions he added “lover? Boyfriend?”

“Friend” Steve frowned “our relationship is nobody else’s business but our own.”

“That won’t fly even before you were fished out and thawed there were rumours that you and the Buckster were more than good friends” Tony said.

“That doesn’t mean we have to confirm their suspicions” Steve countered.

“Steve there’s no one left to be hurt” Bucky said quietly “Ma’s long gone and my sisters, well they didn’t have children before they passed away” Bucky’s tone changed “and if the veterans take issue with who you fuck well fuck them we don’t need their approval.”

Steve brushed his lips against Bucky’s and smiled “Okay Buck, I’m not ashamed of being queer and I could never be ashamed of you” he kissed him again.

“Still here” Tony complained “I’m too young to see such a blatant display of eroticism” there was a smirk on his face.

“I’m not going to stand on a podium and state I’m in a homosexual relationship with Bucky” Steve said firmly “but if I’m asked I won’t lie about it.”

“Good enough because they will ask” Tony told him.

Steve sighed and rolled his shoulders “I’ll never understand why people find my sex life so fascinating.”

Bucky and Tony exchanged looks “They’d all like to take Captain America for a ride” Bucky said and followed up with a kiss just to hear Tony squawk.

“My eyes my eyes” Tony dramatically said.

“Close them or I could pluck them out if they offend you?” Bucky offered and kissed Steve again “Sweet as honey and tempting as hell” he murmured as Steve began to blush.

***

“You must be hungry” Sharon tried to smile.

“His minions are everywhere it could be poisoned” Peggy said.

“I made this myself everything is freshly produced and hasn’t been out of my sight” Sharon replied patiently.

She poured the homemade soup into a bowl “I’ve even baked some bread to go with it” She added.

Peggy frowned “I can feed myself” Sharon reached for the cuffs and released them before setting the tray on Peggy’s lap.

For a moment Peggy studied the lightly steaming bowl then lifted a spoonful of soup to her lips. At the first taste her eyes narrowed and she spat it back into the bowl.

“Fiend, deceiver” she accused.

“Aunt Peggy” the bowl hit Sharon’s chest and hot soup splattered everywhere startling a cry from her.

“Tell him I’m on to him and his sly demon ways” Peggy screamed tears running down her cheeks.

The room was suddenly full of people, a nurse led Sharon away from the noise and commotion. Tutting judgementally at her while looking as if she almost pitied her.

“We warned you not to release Ms Carter” the nurse frowned “she is very unpredictable at the moment and could hurt herself.”

Sharon didn’t reply at first as she tried to pull her soup stained blouse away from her painful red skin “Hope is the last emotion to die” she muttered.

The nurse ignored her comment “Let’s get you seen to and I’m sure I can find you a clean blouse.”

After her burns had been treated and a clean blouse found Sharon left the care home deep in thought. Only for a familiar voice to interrupt her deliberations and she looked around.

“Sharon” there was warm surprise in Steve’s tone.

Automatically Sharon smiled at him “Steve its lovely to see you.”

“Been to see Peggy?” He smiled back at her.

“She’s having a bad day” Sharon frowned “there was a violent outburst.”

Looking concerned Steve asked “Are you okay? Is Peggy okay?”

“Peggy’s fine they’ve sedated her” Sharon looked close to tears.

“Why don’t we go and have a coffee?” Steve suggested gently taking her arm and covertly looking around to make sure Bucky had made a clean escape.

“That’s very kind of you but…” Sharon said.

“No buts” Steve cajoled “you look like you need a break and an ear.”

Sharon smiled “Coffee would be good.”

They headed for a nearby diner and ordered coffee before taking a seat. Steve allowed the silence between them to stretch while Sharon gathered her thoughts.

“I don’t know her anymore” she finally said quietly “the woman in that nursing home isn’t the one I grew up with.”

“I’m sorry” Steve sympathised.

Sharon’s eyes went wide “No I’m sorry, god Steve I forgot” she looked upset.

Steve reached out and touched her hand “You love her I understand.”

“So do you and it’s hard for us both to see her so reduced” Sharon replied.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Steve asked.

“I released her retrains and she threw a bowl of soup at me” Sharon told him tonelessly “I’d been warned so it’s my own fault.”

“It’s not your fault” Steve objected “if you have to blame something then blame the Alzheimer’s that’s eating away at her.”

“It’s just so difficult” Sharon sighed “she was such a strong woman and to see her like this is so heartbreakingly sad.”

“Life is cruel and all we can hope for are better times ahead” Steve smiled “and there will be better times all you have to do is survive until they arrive.” 

“Here’s to survival” Sharon sipped her coffee “and hope.”

Steve smiled “Survival and the happiness it may bring” and he to sipped his coffee.


	8. Chapter 8

“Bucky Buckster” Tony grinned looking around for Steve “where’s your shadow?”

“Being an artist” Bucky replied off handedly.

“Brooding in his oil paints” Tony remarked solemnly a twinkle in his eye.

“He’s designing a logo for the foundation” Bucky revealed.

“Great” Tony grinned “it can go on tee shirts, mugs in fact anything and it’ll make loads of lovely loot for the foundation.”

Bucky looked hopeful “I was thinking about history walks.”

“History walks?” Tony looked puzzled.

“For children” Bucky went on “old battlefields, Pearl Harbor and the like, led by veterans” he shrugged “it might make history come alive for them.”

Tony smiled “Educational and bringing the generations together old codgers and kids walks.”

“You do realize some veterans will be in their twenties and thirties?” Bucky said.

“That won’t matter to the kids anyone their parents age are old” Tony returned.

Bucky snorted “What does that make you?”

“Amazing” Tony replied with certainty before continuing “I’ve got something to show you” he grinned “follow me.”

Bucky found himself in Tony’s workshop the man gushed by his side “Isn’t she beautiful?”

It lay there on the worktop and Bucky said in an uncertain tone “Yes.”

“It’s okay baby Bucky is going to love you” Tony crooned at it.

“It’s a prosthetic” Bucky said.

“It’s more than that it’s your arm” Tony beamed “only better, stronger and more comfortable.”

“You haven’t even examined the one I’ve already got” Bucky half complained.

“I don’t need to the scans told me all I needed to know” Tony paused “you don’t like it?” The look on his face was a mixture of disbelief and dismay. 

“It looks very impressive Tony but it’s…” Bucky said slowly.

“It’s yours” Tony broke in “new arm, new start” he pointed at the top of the arm “look I’ve even replaced the star with Steve’s shield.”

Bucky thought for a moment “Tell me about it.”

Tony grinned “Its touch sensitive hard, soft, heat, cold and the finger tips can vibrate.”

“Why the hell would I want them to vibr…” Bucky rolled his eyes “go on” he gestured. 

“It’s light weight and noiseless when recalibrating, all actions will be smoother and dexterity will be at hundred percent.”

“Will I be able to make repairs when I’m out of contact” Bucky asked.

“With a bit of training yes I’ll even give you a set of tools to take with you” Tony confirmed.

“Can you remote control it?” Bucky’s tone was serious.

“You know that never occurred to me” Tony blinked innocently “do you want me to?”

“What do you think?” Bucky could be sarcastic as well.

“That Steve would string me up by my unmentionables if I even tried it” Tony grinned.

***

“She’s still refusing to eat” Sharon’s tone held a hint of desperation “I don’t know what to do.”

Steve didn’t really know what to say so he asked “What do her doctor’s advice?”

“They want to insert a feeding tube but she’s refusing so they’ve come to me for authorisation” she replied.

“It might be best for her if you allow it” the telephone was uncomfortable against Steve’s ear.

“I think so to but it feels like a betrayal” Sharon told him.

“You can’t let her starve” Steve pointed out “and she already doesn’t trust either of us so it won’t make that much difference.”

“You’re right” Sharon said unhappily “I’ll get back to her doctors.”

“Are you okay Sharon?” Steve asked kindly “is there anything I can do?”

“There’s not much anyone can do Steve” Sharon sighed “and it’s only going to get worse.”

“I’m sorry” Steve found himself saying “you must feel so helpless.”

“Yes and I don’t like it” she paused “and that makes me feel even more guilty.”

“You’re doing your best in a bad situation” Steve soothed “and if you need to talk I’m always available.”

“Thank you Steve you don’t know how much that means to me” she replied truthfully.

“It’s the least I can do” Steve said.

“You’re a good friend I hope you know that” she replied voice cracking.

***

“It was different then” Peggy’s eyes were wild.

The nurse continued straightening her bed not really paying that much attention to her comment instead she automatically replied “You’ve seen a lot.”

“He needed better protection I was doing him a favour” Peggy pulled at her restrains fretfully “I did it for him.”

“I’m sure you did” the nurse soothed.

“The devil was driving his desires it wasn’t natural it wasn’t right” Peggy argued “I saved him.”

“Yes I’m sure you did” the nurse continued to placate her.

“His appetites would have destroyed him and damaged the war effort” Peggy rambled on “I had to step in, it wasn’t for me it was all for him” desperation was in her tone now.

“I’m sure he understood” the nurse reassured Peggy though this time there was a keen interest on her face.

“The best thing Barnes ever did was to die” Peggy pulled against her restrains “it stopped him tempting Steve into unnatural passions.”

The nurse gave Peggy her whole attention “You only wanted to help them” she questioned softly.

“Yes, yes help” Peggy agreed “they would have understood eventually and been grateful that I stepped in and helped them.”

***

“Hell Steve I thought you weren’t going to say anything” Tony burst out as he entered the apartment. 

“He didn’t Peggy has a big mouth” Bucky answered before Steve could “and this time it backfired on her.”

Tony eyed Bucky “Not just for her you as well this is going to be a mess” he complained “there’s already a gaggle of press outside this building waiting for Steve to comment and it’s a miracle that they still don’t know you’re back.”

“So much for our plans” Steve said calmly.

“There still intact and useable” Tony replied “it’s just that whatever control we had is now gone.”

“The public seem to be on our side” Bucky said “fellow fairies are creaming there pants over us” he grinned “to bad there never going to know the wonder that is Steve’s cock.”

“To much information Buckster” Tony winced “pack your bags boys you’re staying at the tower.”

To his relief and surprise neither of them argued with him. Steve just went into their bedroom and came back with three large carryalls and tossed one to Bucky who caught it with ease.

“How the fuck are we getting Bucky boy out of here without the press catching us?” Tony mused out loud.

“We don’t” Steve replied “we’re going through the front door and damn the torpedoes.”

“You sure about that?” Tony aimed at Bucky.

“What the hell it’ll be one firestorm instead of two” Bucky shrugged.

Tony reached into his pocket and removed his sunglasses “Now, voyager, sail thou forth, to seek and find” he said.

“Really Tony, Now Voyager?” Bucky looked amused.

“We still have the stars Buckster we still have the stars” he held out his sunglasses and Bucky took them “to help against all that starlight” Tony then addressed Steve “after you Cap we’ve got your back” he saluted him cheekily.

The reporters tried to gather around them but with little success. As the three kept moving towards the car and not responding to any questions being yelled at them.

“Cap was Bucky your first love?”

“Is it true that Peggy Carter was blackmailing you?”

“As a role model should you be endorsing this life style?”

“Cap who is the beefcake behind you?”

“Why didn’t the serum cure your homosexuality?”

Steve ushered both Bucky and Tony into the car then turned around to face the reporters “A statement will be issued shortly until then no comment” and he entered the car slamming its door behind him.

“Beefcake?” Bucky muttered.

“They’re talking about you” Tony said helpfully as he enjoyed the look of indignation on Bucky’s face.


	9. Chapter 9

“Have you come to visit her?” Tony smirked.

“Damn I forgot the flowers and chocolate” Bucky replied.

“It’s only natural that you would get attached” Tony said “she was made for you.”

Bucky smiled “She’s my best girl and as her father” he looked amused “I’m here to ask for her hand and the rest of her.”

Tony grinned “She’s all yours name the day and you have my blessing.”

“Any time before Steve and I are due to do the interview” Bucky grimaced at the very thought of putting himself on display.

Tony was in motion “It only takes about half an hour so how about now?” He went on “You’ll not even have to be sedated for it.”

“Is that right Jarvis” Bucky asked.

“Sir is very capable Sergeant Barnes” Jarvis replied.

“Thank you Jarvis” Tony said in a dry voice “genius remember” he told Bucky.

Bucky took a deep breath “Okay let’s get it over with.”

“You’re not going to the dentist” Tony complained “and when I say you won’t feel a thing I mean it.”

Bucky pulled off his jacket and then his tee shirt “Where do you want me?” He asked.

There was a silence as Tony took in the scars that littered Bucky’s upper body and any joke he might have made died on his lips.

Instead Tony gestured “The stool” and quickly got busy getting all the equipment that he would need.

“I’m going to injected a muscle relaxant and pain killer around the seam where your arm is attached to your body” Tony explained and quickly and smoothly suited his actions to his words.

Bucky didn’t flinch though he did take a deep breath before saying “Go on.”

“They were created for Steve, the solution I’ve used lasts up to thirty minutes” Tony turned away for a moment and much to Bucky’s surprise picked up a stethoscope.

“Can you place both hands on your thighs?” Tony requested and he began tapping carefully around the plates nearest the seam while listening through the stethoscope “Ah there we go” he grinned and pushed two fingers against the plate and it sprang open with a loud click.

This time Bucky jerked in surprise and Tony stepped away from him “Easy” he said gently “you’re doing fine.”

Bucky took a moment to calm himself “Clocks ticking” he said.

“Right” Tony was moving again “I’m going to have to get my fingers in there” he used one hand to hold onto the arm then inserted the fingers of his other hand “it’s a lever” he explained while trying to make it move “fuck its stiff” he added removing his fingers and again grabbed something from the table behind him.

He held up a small bottle “Oil will get that sucker moving.”

Two long squirts and his fingers were back tugging and pulling at the lever “Fuck it come on you…” it moved and Tony grinned “come on baby come to daddy” he crooned.

Bucky rolled his eyes but didn’t comment as Tony continued to put pressure on the lever and it continued to move.

“That’s it” Tony closed the plate, stepped back and wiped his hands on a towel.

“Brace yourself and try not to move” Tony took a firm two handed grip on the arm and thrust a foot into Bucky’s armpit “ready?” He asked.

“Get on with it” Bucky growled.

Tony yanked on the arm stumbling backwards as it came free easier than he expected. He almost dropped it but he swung around in time for it to land on the table.

“Fuck it” echoed around the room Tony turned around to see that Bucky was sprawled on the floor glaring up at him “Are you hurt?” He asked as he went to help him up.

“Only my pride” Bucky groused back on the stool and looking embarrassed.

Tony began cleaning and checking the metal socket that was still attached to Bucky “It’s in good condition” Tony was working quickly “the socket isn’t corroded at all”

He left Bucky’s side for a moment to retrieve the arm from a glass case at the far end of the workshop.

“Bucky’s armless he’ll treat you right” Tony cooed at it “Buckster knows it’s your first time.”

“Should I brace myself” Bucky asked darkly amused.

“My baby girl is a sweetheart but brace if you want” Tony smiled.

Moving quickly he plugged the new arm into the socket and there was a soft click followed by silence. Bucky looked at Tony and then back at his new arm, its finger tips twitched slightly.

Producing a ping pong ball Tony grinned moved backwards and threw it. The arm reacted immediately hand catching it mid-air and without crushing it.

“She communicates better with your brain impulses” Tony explained “she reads them almost as quickly as your flesh arm does.”

“You don’t need to think about an action for your arm to react naturally” Tony was very pleased with himself.

Bucky gazed at the arm “I’ll look after her” he promised smiling.

“Good now go show her off to Captain Fine Ass” Tony replied.

Bucky jumped off the stool only to lurch to one side Tony caught him on reflex.

“Fuck” Bucky grumbled.

“Ah yes she weighs seventy percent less than your old arm, so it might take you a little while to get used to not compensating for the fact.”

“Right” Bucky said and added sincerely “thanks Tony really I mean it she’s a beauty.”

“Yeah, yeah she’s already in my will go show her off to Steve” Tony was blushing and not quite meeting Bucky’s eyes.

***

Bucky slowly stripped his jacket off appearing to ignore Steve, who looked up from the newspaper he’d been reading. The tee shirt was next and he could feel the other man’s eyes on him.

“Now isn’t that pretty” Steve said newspaper totally forgotten.

He stood up and approached Bucky “So pretty, it’s pretty.”

“She” Bucky corrected but at Steve’s questioning look added “the female is deadlier than the male.”

Steve smirked “And the male is fuckable as the female” he slipped a metal finger into his mouth and sucked it.

Bucky drew in a breath he could feel Steve’s tongue lapping and brushing against the finger and it sent a shiver through him. He pulled his hand free gathering Steve into his arms and kissed the hell out of him. Grinding their hips together, hard flesh rubbing and reacting to the passion flaring between them.

Bucky squeezed Steve’s cock playfully then rubbed it through the cloth of his pants. His fingertips vibrated gently and both went still, cautiously Bucky wrapped his hand firmly around the cloth covered cock. The vibration continued and built, Steve kissed him and clung, the vibrations sending pleasure pulsing through the both of them.

“Jesus my own personal vibrator” Steve gasped.

Bucky squeezed his cock hard and Steve yelped as he came unable to control himself. Only for Bucky to follow him groaning as his body left him with no choice but to cum.

*** 

“You lied to me” Sharon’s eyes were bright with emotion “you lied to everyone.”

“No, I didn’t” Steve replied firmly.

“You said you loved her” Sharon accused.

“I’ve never said those words to her or about her” Steve said bluntly.

“It doesn’t matter how you spin it now” her voice was full of pain “you lied if only by omission.”

“If you had asked I would have told you the truth but like everybody else you just assumed and believed the media hype” Steve frowned “all you had to do was ask” he repeated.

Sharon stared at him “She blackmailed you” she said at last.

“Yes” Steve waited.

“You’re gay and she used it against you” Sharon continued.

“I’m queer” Steve stated “and back then it was a sickness that she could use to control me and the person I loved.”

“Bucky” Sharon breathed.

“Yes, she was going to report him and I couldn’t let that happen” Steve replied tiredly.

“Was she ever the woman I thought she was?” Sharon asked almost childlike.

Steve shrugged “She was strong and capable at a time when women had few options that doesn’t mean she was moral or righteous.”

Sharon’s eyes flashed with anger “I really don’t like you at the moment.”

“I’m sorry” Steve replied. 

“Like hell you are” Sharon retorted “there moving her to a more secure location don’t visit her there.”

“I can do that” Steve said “and I didn’t mean to hurt you Sharon.”

“Yet you did” she said quietly “tell me Steve are you any better than Peggy?”

“I’m just human” Steve replied.

“And so is she” Sharon flung at him before walking away.


	10. Chapter 10

“There’ll be two short separate interviews plus a joint one” Tony’s PR lady told them smiling brightly.

“Isn’t that over kill” Steve asked.

“Believe me they wanted a lot more but Mr Stark wasn’t having it and threatened to go to another channel” she went on “and they’d agree to anything to get the exclusive on Sergeant Barnes still being alive and with you.”

When neither Steve nor Bucky reacted to her statement she continued “It shouldn’t be a long process either a morning for the separate interviews and an afternoon for the joint one.”

“So it can be done in one day” Bucky said.

“Yes unless you want to spread it out over two” she agreed.

“Let’s just get it over with” Bucky replied “its going to be annoying as it is.”

“When do they want us?” Steve asked.

“That’s in your hands there ready to roll when you are” she told him.

“How about tomorrow?” Bucky said.

“Yes that’s doable” her smile was back.

“Are you sure Buck?” Steve asked.

“Let’s get it over with” Bucky said “waiting won’t make it any easier.”

*** 

Sophie shook his hand smiling her eyes keen with interest “Captain Rogers I promise I’ll make this as painless as possible.”

He returned her smile “Thank you please call me Steve.”

“This is a lovely apartment” she said looking around.

“Its home and we like it” Steve replied.

Both sat down and got comfortable waiting as lighting and sound went through various tests until the okay was given and the interview began.

“Captain America, Steve Rogers man in a million thank you for talking to us tonight” her words were addressed to the camera more than him.

He smiled slightly “Thank you for asking me.”

“The recent revelation that Peggy Carter blackmailed you during the Second World War because she found out you were gay, must have been quite a shock for you” Sophie smiled sympathetically at him.

“No, not really she said nothing that I hadn’t already lived” he replied “naturally I would rather have kept the situation private but that was out of my hands.”

“It’s hard to comprehend that a woman of Peggy Carter’s stature could do something so unkind and calculating” Sophie responded.

“She didn’t see it that way for her it was a power play another tool to use in furthering her career” Steve said blandly.

“You don’t appear to be bitter about her actions” Sophie stated.

“What would be the point it’s the past and gone now” Steve ran a hand through his hair “it means less than nothing and so does she.”

“What was it like being gay back in the thirties and forties?” Sophie asked.

“What you’ve got to remember is back then being queer was classed as a perversion and you could be jailed or even worse be put in a mental hospital because of it” he replied.

“So it was both difficult and dangerous?” She stated.

“Yes but worth it” Steve paused “for me at least.”

“How do you feel about becoming a gay icon?” She asked.

“Queer people need to be represented in all walks of life and if I can help with that I will” Steve replied.

“The term queer is seen as a slur by some” Sophie said carefully.

“Queer is the term I’m most comfortable with” Steve explained “it gave me a name for what I desired.”

“Are you reclaiming the word for the gay community?” She asked.

“How can you reclaim a word that never went away?” Steve asked in return.

She smiled at him “How are you coping with being outed in such a public way?”

“It’s annoying but hopefully now that people know they’ll realize it’s just one small part of the Steve Rogers package.”

“Thank you again for speaking to us” Sophie smiled and Steve returned it automatically.

*** 

“Sergeant Barnes” Sophie outright grinned “it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise” Bucky smiled as if he meant it and waited until she sat down before doing so himself.

She addressed the camera “It is my honour and pleasure to introduce my next guest Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes.”

Bucky let a small smile grace his lips knowing the camera was on him. His posture was relaxed as if he was interviewed every day and it had become blasé.

Sophie turned to him “Bucky everyone thought you had perished during the Second World War could you tell us what really happened?”

Bucky smiled showing his teeth “It’s not that exciting of a story Sophie like a lot of soldiers I was captured by Hydra.”

“That doesn’t explain how we are lucky enough to have you with us today” Sophie replied gently.

“Hydra gave me a knock off version of Steve’s serum and it worked” Bucky replied.

Sophie nodded “Did they do anything else to you?” She went on to ask.

Bucky stopped himself from snapping back at her and instead said calmly “They took my arm and replaced it with a metal one.”

There was a long moment of shocked silence “They modified your body?”

“Yes they used me to test out all sorts of medical procedures” Bucky revealed.

“That’s barbaric” the words seemed to escape from her mouth.

“I’m still here” Bucky said “I survived many didn’t.”

“Could we…” her words trailed away as Bucky pulled his gloves off and wiggled his metal fingers.

“This isn’t the old one” Bucky grinned “this beauty is a Tony Stark original” Sophie returned his grin.

“You must have experienced a lot over the years” Sophie began again.

“Not really in between procedures they usually put me into cryo” Bucky’s face went serious “they didn’t see me as human merely as a useful animal they could experiment on.”

“So like Captain Rogers you slept for most of the century?” Sophie asked.

“Yes and it was preferable to being awake” Bucky replied.

“The Winter Soldier also has a metal arm” Sophie said.

“He does” Bucky agreed.

“Did you ever meet him?” Sophie’s eyes were bright with interest.

“No, I was just the subject that they tested all the procedures on that they would later use on him to make sure they worked” Bucky was looking serious again.

“Do you think he will ever be caught?” She asked.

“You can never say never” Bucky said easily. 

Changing tact Sophie asked “What was it like seeing Steve again after so many years?”

Bucky smiled warmly “It was like coming home.”

“How did you find each other again?” Sophie probed.

“Steve found me in an abandoned Hydra base still in cryo” Bucky smiled as if lost in memory “he activated the unit and you could say I fell into his arms.”

Sophie smiled “That sounds romantic.” 

“I’m a romantic kind of guy” Bucky smiled back at her.

The interview came to a natural end and Sophie thanked him.

*** 

Bucky took hold of Steve’s hand pulling it to rest on his thigh. Sophie moved in her seat but didn’t comment, both men looked relaxed and unconcerned their fingers entwined.

“Steve and Bucky” Sophie smiled “together again some would say it’s a miracle.”

It wasn’t really a question but Steve answered her anyway “Well we certainly think so.”

“How does it feel to be in the modern world is there anything that really surprised you?” She asked.

“I’ve always had faith that this country would prosper” Steve said “and the technology is truly marvellous but what really surprised me is how little the people have changed, most are still good hearted and that gives me hope for the future” Steve replied.

“And you Bucky?” Sophie smiled at him.

“The legalization of same sex love, the fact that Steve and I can do this” he leant over and give Steve a quick kiss “and not be jailed for it.”

The blatant and blunt acknowledgement of their relationship struck Sophie dumb for a moment “Childhood sweethearts you followed him to war?” She aimed at Steve but it was Bucky that replied.

“I’ve loved Steve since before I knew what my dick was for, the war had nothing to do with it and I didn’t want him to fight.”

Sophie looked shocked “Can I ask why?”

“Steve was small, scrawny and ill even if he refused to acknowledge it. Would you be happy to see your lover go to war in that condition?” Bucky stated.

“War demands sacrifices” she was cut off by Bucky’s dark laughter.

“More than you’ll ever know sweetheart” he said softly.

Up to that point Steve had been eying the ceiling with a look on his face that plainly said I’ve heard this all before “Buck” he said quietly and squeezed his hand.

“Yes I suppose you could say we were childhood sweethearts” Steve took over from him “and that I gave him my heart along with my virginity.”

Sophie’s cheeks were pink and she bit her lip “He was the only one?” 

Steve nodded “Bucky was and is my world.”

In the background Bucky muttered fondly “Ditto.”

“That’s” Sophie searched for a word.

“Pathetic?” Steve offered.

“No it’s actually very sweet” she smiled.

There was a pause “How are both of you coping with loss of one world and getting to know another?”

“You have to take it one day at a time” Steve told her “there are bad days but the good days out number them.”

Bucky added “It’s not as difficult as you might think like Steve said there are bad days you just have to get through them.”

“Do you have any plans for the future?” Sophie asked.

“Yes” Steve replied “but there still in the early stages so I can’t really talk about them.” 

“Is it a joint endeavour with Bucky” she probed.

“Yes and Tony Stark is also involved but that’s all I can tell you at the moment” he replied firmly.

Sophie addressed the camera “I’d like to thank again our guests Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes for talking to us and I hope you have enjoyed listening to them as much as I have.”

*** 

“It wasn’t that bad” Steve smiled at Bucky.

“She was a little naïve” Bucky replied “but time will take care of that.”

Tony walked into the communal living area “How did darling Sophie treat you?” He enquired helping himself to a coffee.

“She was very professional” Steve told him.

“That’s good” Tony sipped his coffee “there weren’t any hitches?”

“I think we shocked her” Bucky smirked.

“We held hands and there was a kiss” Steve explained “nothing scandalous.”

Tony grinned “America will be the judge of that!” He sat down “Do you even care?”

“Not a scrap” Steve replied.

“That’s the spirit don’t let the bastards get you down” Tony encouraged “how about you Buckyboo.”

“The only opinion I care about is Steve’s” Bucky said “and maybe yours when the wind is in the right direction.”


	11. Chapter 11

“What are you doing?” Steve asked.

Bucky jumped “Nothing.”

“Really” he looked over Bucky’s shoulder at his Starkpad and his mouth dropped open.

“That’s” Steve blinked “is that?”

“What do you think Steve should I get you some diapers and a dummy” Bucky clicked away from the adult baby site grinning.

“I’ve already got a dummy” Steve smirked “and he’s a super sucker.”

A scuffle and yelp later Steve was flat on his back Bucky bounced on his stomach and asked “You were saying Stevie?”

“That brains aren’t everything” Steve was defiant as his body jerked powerfully up sending Bucky tumbling off him.

Steve settled himself on top of Bucky pressing down and grinding their hips together, for a few moments there was silence as they just enjoyed the contact.

Then Bucky opened his mouth “You’ll always be my baby” he pouted playfully up at Steve.

Who kissed him with controlled passion “Brat” he said fondly.

Tony appeared in their apartment like magic bringing there necking to a halt “Rabbits you’re as randy as rabbits” he said.

“When we get the chance” Steve grumbled as he climbed off Bucky and gave him a hand up.

“You’re the media’s darlings” Tony announced “everybody loves lovers.”

Bucky cocked an eye at him “Everybody?”

“Well if you don’t count the religious fundamentalists and the homophobic” Tony admitted.

“So not quite everyone” Bucky concluded “any death threats yet?”

“Ah no but there’s been calls for Steve to have the Shield taken from him” Tony replied.

“Not a chance” Bucky growled “Steve earned the Shield.”

“If they can take it they can have it” Steve had a glinted in his eyes.

Tony shook his head at them “It’s yours dear old Dad made sure of that by putting it in your name, not the army’s or the governments but yours all nice and legal.”

“So I can take my football home with me” Steve pondered.

“Yep or play kick about” Tony confirmed.

“I’m not going anywhere unless Buck gets wonder lust” Steve said.

“To add to the passionate lust I presume” Tony replied.

“Hey we’ve got seventy odd years of enforced celibacy to make up for” Bucky pointed out “so if you don’t mind” he gestured towards the front door.

“And you still remember what to do with it?” Tony smirked.

“He does” Steve replied “and so do I before you ask.”

“Cap your virginity is renewable like a rolling contract” Tony said.

“Was there anything else Tony” Steve asked trying not to smile.

“There’s hundreds of interview requests” Steve was shaking his head and Tony continued “and the army want you to be the face of a recruitment drive directed at the gay community.”

“People should make their own minds up on that without being manipulated” Steve frowned.

“So that’s a no and Frolicsome Fun wants to produce a line of Cap ‘N’ Buck vibrators and lubricants.”

Steve went bright red and looked as if he were about to choke “No” he spluttered “just no.”

“Shame I saw looking forward to seeing Bucky’s Buckaroo and Fap With Cap on the shelves” Tony said humour shining in his eyes.

“Jesus” Steve muttered “I didn’t need to know that.”

“Everyone’s had a wet dream or two about you” Tony was smirking.

Steve had the urge to cover his ears “Even you?” He said before he could stop himself.

“Are you propositioning me Captain Rogers?” Tony’s eyes twinkled.

“No!” Steve dodged behind Bucky.

“Hands off” Bucky playfully growled “he’s mine and don’t you forget it.”

“Message understood” Tony said “I’ll leave you to your torrid and lustful passions.”

“Do you think he’s lonely or something?” Bucky asked after Tony left.

Steve shrugged “He doesn’t need to be.”

***

The nurse checked Peggy’s notes her patient was unconscious but not at rest. Peggy’s limbs twitched while her breathing was shallow with long pauses. Her bed was surrounded by machines monitoring her weak body as it struggled to survive.

The door opened and the nurse looked up and smiled “Miss Carter it’s good to see you.”

Sharon briefly returned her smile “How is she?”

“As well as can be expected she is fighting every step of the way” the nurse replied.

Sharon sat at Peggy’s bedside her eyes troubled “Has she had any visitors?”

“Apart from yourself no” the nurse said in a bland tone then left them alone in the room.

The silence was heavy only broken by the noise of the machines and Peggy’s struggles to breath. Sharon took one of Peggy’s hands in her own it was thin and frail almost witch like in its appearance.

“Its okay” she whispered “you can stop fighting the war is over you can let go.”

Peggy’s eyes flickered open and she turned her head slightly “Sharon” she said the word coming out hoarse and weak.

“Yes” Sharon blinked her tears away “I love you Aunt Peggy.”

Peggy’s eyes were clear “My darling girl” she whispered “I…” Her eyes closed and she was unconscious again.

Sharon held onto Peggy’s hand both of them silent and trapped in their separate worlds. Desperation nibbling at them with sharp hungry teeth. Through it all Sharon wanted to talk to Steve and it shamed her.

The minutes dragged until an hour had went by then Sharon stood up and dutifully kissed Peggy on the cheek. Leaving the room she reached into her bag and removed her phone. Outside of the building she made the call hating herself for the weakness that led her to do so.

“Steve” the word was almost a cry for help.

“Sharon are you okay” Steve asked seeming unsurprised by her call.

“No I’m not” she replied without thinking.

“Is Peggy?” Steve asked gently.

“Not yet she’s fighting and I hate her for it” Sharon said trying to be honest.

“No you don’t” Steve replied softly.

“You’re right I don’t not really it’s just so hard to watch her losing ground everyday” Sharon admitted “Peggy doesn’t deserve this” there was raw pain in her voice.

“None would be spared a whipping if they got what they deserved” Steve said.

His words washed over her “I don’t believe that there are good people in this world” she said.

“Good people are capable of great evil in the name of god, country and personal opinion” Steve retorted.

“Peggy was good and she doesn’t deserve to go out like this” Sharon repeated “no one does its unkind and cruel to all involved.”

“You could remove her feeding tube” Steve offered bluntly and wasn’t surprised when Sharon ended the call.

“Was that really necessary?” Bucky frowned.

“No just a natural reflex on my part” Steve didn’t sound sorry.

“Peggy bringing the worst out in people since 1942” Bucky said with humour.

“One of her many talents” Steve agreed.

“She ended up old and alone” Bucky commented “it’s a lesson for us all.”

“Not quite she had a full life and Sharon loves her” Steve replied.

“Much good it’s done her in the long run” Bucky said “what goes around comes around.”

“What’s coming for us then?” Steve asked.

“A long and happy life pal after everything we’ve been through” Bucky replied.

Steve smiled “I’d drink to that if I could get drunk.”

Bucky grinned “How about a natural high, fancy a fuck fella?”

“Smooth Bucky real smooth” Steve said but it wasn’t a no.


	12. Chapter 12

Sharon was numb her whole body was drained of emotion and sensation, “Miss Carter are you still there” the doctor’s voice was small and distance to her ear.

“Yes” she forced herself to reply gripping the phone tightly in her nerveless hand.

“Your Aunt didn’t suffer she died in her sleep peacefully” the doctor went on in a calm tone.

A bark of unnatural laughter stopped him in his tracks “Miss Carter is there anyone you can call to be with you?”

“I’m good I’m fine” Sharon said with a firmness she didn’t feel.

“If you could pick up her belongings in the next forty eight hours it would be appreciated” the doctor continued “and the paper work can be sorted out then as well.”

“Right” Sharon managed “I’ll come in tomorrow morning if that’s okay.”

“That’ll be fine Miss Carter” his voice was gentle “I’ll see you then” and he ended the call.

The world didn’t seem real everything was distance and out of reach and Sharon didn’t know what to do with herself. There were no more tears left to cry and she was so tired of everything.

She sank down onto the sofa and stared vacantly into space nothing was touching her and the emptiness of her mind and emotions didn’t even unnerve her.

So it took a while for her to realize her phone was ringing and on automatic she switched it off. Sharon made herself go to the kitchen and make herself a coffee and sandwich that she didn’t really want. She sat at the kitchen table and just stared at them as the bread became dry and the coffee went cold.

The loud noise of someone hammering at her front door made her jump and on automatic she went and unlocked it moving back into the living room before it was pushed open.

“Sharon” it was Steve’s voice and by his side was Bucky.

She looked at them both “You got him back” it hung in the air that she wouldn’t be getting Peggy back.

“I’m sorry” Steve began only to be cut off by Sharon.

“Stop lying to me” there was no emotion in her voice “you’re not sorry at all.”

“No I’m not but I am sorry you’re hurting” Steve said “and I do know what loss feels like.”

“You got him back” she repeated staring at Bucky “what are you doing here?”

“You switched off your phone he was worried about you” Bucky replied.

With clear disinterest she said “I’m fine as you can see.”

Steve guided her to sit back on the sofa while Bucky disappeared from her sight.

“Where has he gone?” Sharon asked tiredly.

“To get some glasses from the kitchen” Steve told her.

It was only then that she noticed Steve was holding a bottle wrapped in brown paper. She didn’t comment and they both waited for Bucky’s return.

He was holding three glasses when he did and Steve opened the bottle of Brandy. He poured two fingers worth into each glass and gave one to Sharon wrapping both of her hands around it. Gently but firmly he urged her to drink and she did letting the alcohol burn and warm her. After emptying the glass she held it out for a refill which Steve willingly gave her though this time she just sipped at it.

“I guess you’re both happy now” she said.

“You can’t blame us if we feel some satisfaction at her death” Bucky replied “Peggy was good to you and not so much to us.”

“Only good memories tonight” Sharon muttered emptying her glass again and Steve refilled it for her.

“Tell us about her” Steve suggested “What was she like after the war.”

Sharon’s eyes were bright “She was a good Aunt took me on outings and encouraged me to get an education.”

“Did she see you as the daughter she never had?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know about that but I like to think so” Sharon breathed deeply “she was the only one in the family that supported my choice to join Shield.

Sharon’s glass was empty again but she refused another refill “I wanted to be just like her you know” she looked down into the empty glass tiredly “to make her proud of me.”

Sharon closed her eyes and leant back as the glass slipped from her hand and sleep claimed her at last. Steve carefully carried Sharon into her bedroom and placed her on the bed. Silently he removed her shoes and tried to make her comfortable. Then closed the door behind him and went back to join Bucky in the living room.

He took the glass held out to him “To the end of an era” Steve said.

“Ding dong the wicked witch is dead” Bucky replied “it’s just not the same when you can’t get drunk” he added and set his glass down.

“Do you feel any different?” Steve asked.

“Fuck no” Bucky replied “a part from that quiet satisfaction I mentioned earlier.”

“So that’s the end of that and the future is ours” Steve smiled as he swallowed the last of his drink.

*** 

Steve was idly browsing on YouTube when a title caught his attention “Past Imperfect” he clicked on it and settled in to watch.

“Earlier this week Peggy Carter died after a life time of loyalty and duty to our country. What should have been a celebration of a talented and forward thinking woman. Has instead been overtaken by a lone mistake she made in a century now long gone.

People seem to have forgotten that Peggy was a produce of Edwardian parents and influenced by the last of the Victorians. Who at least on the surface had strict moral values about any kind of sex.

All sex was sin unless you were married and trying for a baby. People who were gay were both perverts and sinfully wicked. Being gay was against the law in the majority of the world, both government and church against a minority of people who were unable to defend themselves.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that a young woman like Peggy believed what the majority of people believed at that time in history. Finding out that Steve Rogers was a degenerate and pervert would have shocked her and anger may have led to her blackmailing him. Peggy may have even thought that her actions not only helped her but him as well.

Self-interest and deception plus the knowledge of being in the right would have blocked everything else out. Such as mercy, compassion or kindness.

Personally I can’t wipe out all the good Peggy has done in her life. I’ve come to accept that the woman I’ve admired so much was flawed and like the rest of us only human…”

Bucky lent over Steve and clicked the pause button “Tony and the ravenous hordes are waiting for us” he didn’t comment on the video at all.

“We can’t have that” Steve said and followed Bucky out of their apartment and up to the foundation’s floor.

Where Tony and his PR lady were waiting for them “This is going to be brilliant” he announced his enthusiasm was contagious.

“Lead the way tinman” Bucky smiled warmly.

“I suppose that makes Steve Dorothy and you Glenda” Tony replied and yelped when metal fingers pinched his ass.

They entered the press room to a barrage of questions – 

“Steve have you been left anything in Peggy’s will?”

“Bucky are you and Steve getting married?”

“Tony why have you refused the army access to your suit designs?”

The PR lady made them quieten down and Tony got onto the podium, Steve and Bucky stood behind him. The three of them united and ready for anything.

Tony grinned “The Captains Comrades The Rogers And Stark Foundation For Veteran Welfare, bringing the generations together” his voice held conviction “and promoting new beginnings for all our veterans and their families.”

Life would go on and so would they, Steve relaxed he had Bucky by his side and Tony for a friend. They were going to be fine and if they weren’t they’d deal with that whenever it happened. For now life was good and so were they.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to mei_an who gave me a gentle nudge to write more.
> 
> Acknowledgment - Some of the dialogue I’ve used in chapter two is from - Captain America The First Avenger by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely.
> 
> Acknowledgment Chapter 8 – There is a misquote from the film Now Voyager screen play by Casey Robinson based on the novel by Olive Higgins Prouty. The original quote was “Oh Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars.”
> 
> Also “Now Voyager, sail thou forth, to seek and find” is from Walt Whitman’s poem The Untold Want.
> 
> Acknowledgment Chapter 9 - Bucky references the poem - The Female Of The Species by Rudyard Kipling
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> Further tags will be added as needed.


End file.
